Wednesday morning

OMG am I tired this morning. Went to bad last night with a stack load of stuff on my mind and couldn't fall asleep. Then at 3am I heard the dog whining - went downstairs to see what the problem was and there he was contentedly sitting in his basket - guess he must have had a doggy nightmare. Then at 3.50 he starting whining again, which is very unusual for Waffle. Looked at the phone in my room and realised that someone was calling - the phone was actually off but I could see the light flashing. Should have remembered that Waffle hates the ansaphone and that's why he was whimpering. By the time my brain and registered all of this, the person had hung up and the last number was 'witheld'. Well, as you can imagine, my brain then kicked started into overtime and I thought the hospital had been trying to reach me. I dashed downstairs - and really did trip over the toy in the hallway (Nathan had been clearing out his cupboards and some old toys had been sitting there waiting to find a new home!) and came downstairs to check the ansaphone. First message (the one from 3am) was an automated (very irritating) voice and then the most recent was a keyholder call for Michael's parents' flat. Thank goodness for that - as I'd run down the stairs, all manner of things had shot through my mind. It's quite amazing in such a short period of time what games your mind can play with you. Sigh of relief and then the worry of why the alarm Company couldn't get hold of Michael's parents at 3.50 am - surely they should have been tucked up in bed or maybe like me, they turned the phone off. Anyone, I called and all was fine - they'd just had a power cut. Meanwhile, still doesn't answer the question as to why the alarm Company's first call wasn't to the occupiers!!! But then I couldn't get back to sleep. All the things that had been worrying me when I'd been trying to fall asleep last night, were back to haunt me - as much as I tried to tell myself that things always seem worse at night (that's what I always tell the children when they can't sleep, in the hope that they'll then nod off!!), it didn't work, and when I finally fell asleep, it felt like the alarm immediately woke me up again :(

I have to say, now I really am on go slow and can't kick myself started this morning. Michael's parents are going to the hospital so I've decided not to rush up but now I've been pottering at home, it would be quite nice to stay here. I'm fine when I'm in the car, but I so can't be bothered today. Want to be with Michael but two hours in the car is soooo hard and I'm not sure whether it's the car or just the amount of driving but I seem to always have a neck ache. Each time I get in the car, I adjust the seat to see if it's more comfortable and still my neck aches. With petrol as expensive as it is though (although I have now found a petrol station under 130 per litre), it just makes sense to use the little car!!

Well perhaps a shower and then a dog walk will give me some energy. Do feel at the moment that I count the hours until bedtime!