Tuesday 10th January 2012

No blog in 5 days you may say. To be honest, now that Michael's home and blogging himself, I'm not sure what to say! I'd love to be able to tell you life's returned to normal but, if you've been reading http://www.beingapatient.blogspot.com/ you know that's far from the truth.

There was me faithfully blogging every day. Sometimes, 5 times a day, with so much to tell you. Now - I really can't believe anyone would be interested in our daily life. It's one thing Michael telling you all the his 'personal' details of how he's getting on and his daily rituals and but does anyone really want to hear what I'm getting up to. Life is mundane at the moment. Don't get me wrong - that's not a bad thing (not that fabulous either). It's just a recovery thing I guess. In a way we're both waiting for the time when Michael feels better (perhaps feels as good as he now looks - we're not talking drop dead gorgeous or anything - just healthy!!) and we're not constantly monitoring inputs/outputs/food tolerance, etc.

I'm constantly thinking of what food I can encourage Michael with. There are times when he's more willing than others. Although I have just read that he didn't have breakfast yesterday as I was out - he really shouldn't have admitted that one. I'll be on the lookout now. But seriously - there's so many worries on my mind. I want him to eat as that's part of his recovery; eating often makes him feel sick so I feel guilty that I've pushed food on him; when he has eaten and isn't sick there's a huge sense of relief that the stomach must be working as the food has stayed down; I want him to eat more so that he can get off this awful liquid feed going into his intestine (which we now think is now the cause of terrible discomfort and bloatedness) - once he's off that he can have one more tube removed from his tummy. It's hard knowing that it's best to take things slowly but really wanting to move things along.

Michael's definitely doing more at home - emptying the dishwasher, offering to iron!!, taking the recuperating dog for his 5 minute walk round the block. He does obviously get very tired but I am encouraging him to do a little more each day - you know, one more walk - a little longer each time; take the washing out of the machine. He has been given the all clear to drive, although we've both agreed he will only do so if he absolutely needs to - obviously it's no good getting behind the wheel when he's in pain or just feeling rough and can't concentrate. On the otherhand, sometimes doing something takes your mind off how you feel. Everything's a predicament - try and carry on as normal even though you're feeling lousy - or sit and relax until you feel better. Much easier when you know in a few days you'll be up and raring to go. So much harder when you know this is not a short term thing and we could be having the same discussion for months.

So much for not having anything to blog about!! Just taking a pause to shower and get myself together. And that's another thing - it's 9.14am and I'm still not dressed. The last couple of days have been slow starters. I've been up with the kids but then seem to potter around before actually getting going - think I'll have to kick myself out of that routine. Be back soon...............

Not so soon - it's now 10.40 pm and another day as flown past. Not quite sure what I achieved. Before getting dressed, Michael had a bad start to the morning, taking ages to get himself sorted and my nursing skills were needed (perhaps actually more of a care assistant role when I think about it). Someone asked me today how the two of us were coping together - in other words were we ready to murder each other. As mad as Michael, and the situation, often drives me, I can honestly say that murder is not yet on my mind (please note the 'yet'!!).

An old friend came round to visit Michael today - someone we hadn't seen for many years. Amazing how illness (with the help of facebook) brings people back together. After a gourmet lunch of cheese omelette we ventured out to Harlequin. Not very exciting I hear you say but I needed to return some items (I'm sure I return more than I purchase - how does that work out?) and thought it would do Michael good just to get out of the house. He managed two shops and then I left him in a nice quiet corner of JL coffee shop, reading the paper, while I finished off.

Back home, ready for the kids return and then the usual chauffeuring duties, supper, meeting at school, blog and bed. Meanwhile, Michael spent the remainder of the afternoon on his computer and phone. Can someone be addicted to twitter? If he's not tweeting, he's figuring out how to get his blog higher up the rankings on google. Perhaps I should introduce him to the Wii, just to give him a bit of technology variety. It's one thing when the kids are immersed in their phones, but when it's a grown man!!

So now you know why I haven't blogged. Does anyone really want to hear all of this? Hope you're not too jealous of all the excitement :)

Night xx