Monday 16 January

Blogging gaps are becoming longer now - not really convinced I've enough to fill a daily page.

So how have we moved on since last I wrote? To be honest, no where very much. Yes - Michael is slowly gaining energy and our walks are becoming slightly longer. He's still feeling pretty rough most of the time, although now he does have more periods of feeling slightly better as he's been told by the Nutritionist to stay off his feed for two days and back on for one. Basically, it's not agreeing with him, for various reasons, together with his bowel working too quickly - again for various reasons, and they are looking at changing it (I think?!) and putting him on a new drug (something to do with having too much bacteria in his gut). We're back to Oxford on Wednesday for biopsy, etc and hopefully we'll find out more then. As ever, the team have been excellent - Michael has had numerous conversations and emails with the Nutritionist trying to get the problem sorted. I can really really see the difference with Michael now on the day's he's not having his feed - mentally and physically. He's just had his two day's off and the feed went back on tonight. He was far from happy about this and it means he wont get such a good night's sleep. I so wish he could eat enough calories to fully get off the feed. He is doing fairly well though - today was a thick and creamy yoghurt, cheese omelette, and a dinner every child would be jealous of...... chocolate pudding with chocolate sauce. My poor children had to suffer eating a healthy savoury meal whilst watching their Dad eat that (illness can be so cruel to those around you!).

Did feel bad at the weekend (well I laughed really!!). Went for a walk to the shops. It was too far for Waffle to go as he's only allowed 5 mins walk for the next few days. Poor Michael was huffing and puffing as it was a real stretch on his energy, when we bumped into someone we knew. She asked where the dog was, and of course how Michael was. I explained that it was too far for Waffle to walk and she looked at Michael and commented 'but what about you?'. So now people think I care more about the dog than my husband. All I can say is that my husband is a much better patient and whereas he hardly every moans and generally always puts on a brave face, the pathetic dog has only just started to put his bad leg on the ground (over a week after the op, whereas most dogs will do so the day after the op), whimpers when we had to pull the plaster off, pulled half his stitches out and then lifts up his leg for attention when anybody walks into the house just for a bit of sympathy. Maybe that's Michael's mistake - he should learn a thing or two from Waffle and then maybe I won't 'force' him to take such long walks.

This week's a really busy one and I did wake up this morning trying to calculate when my next lie-in would be. It's so far away, I gave up in the end. Lauren's show starts this Wednesday and as I have a Chaperone's license (don't even ask why), I offered to help. Therefore I'm out every night this week from tomorrow, and then at the weekend we have very dear friends' son's Bar Mitzvah. Shame of it is, Michael can't see Lauren in the show or join us in the weekend celebrations. Such a shame that he'll be on his own on Sunday evening whilst we're all partying - unfortunately there's going to be quite a few of those occasions over the next few months.

As tired as I am thinking about the week ahead, I'm more drained thinking about how Lauren is going to cope and how I'll deal with her tiredness. One side of it is that she's having a great experience but, on the other hand, I know she's not going to get to bed before 10.45 one night this week. She had a Bat Mitzvah on Saturday evening and then rehearsal yesterday and without going into too much detail, by the time she fell asleep last night, I was hoping Michael had a secret stash of valium that I could take to calm my nerves. Michael's health problems have, naturally, caused me hours of worry but 12 year old daughters can most certainly quadruple any mother's stress levels. So please excuse me if you do happen to see me over the next week looking stressed and grumpy and perhaps with a sore throat (too much shouting!!) - be assured that it's nothing to do with my husband's health but the life of a teenager!!

Hoping to have some positive news to report on Wednesday, and most certainly that it's something that helps to make Michael feel better, and happier.

xx