Well - we're still here in Radlett - waiting! Michael spoke with Oxford today. The coordinator explained that previous patients who are 'common' like Michael have had a maximum of a month wait. Apparently, the surgeon is more likely to reject a organ from a 'common' donor if there are slight discrepancies (not quite sure that's the correct terminology!). This is because there will be more available to choose from than those where they are matching with more uncommon blood types. I haven't particularly explained that very well - I know what I mean - I hope you do!!
Had a bit of a low day today. No more reason than any other day. Maybe I just feel feel that with our lives on hold, I'm just wasting my time on irrelevant stuff. So how have I filled today - mowed the lawn, did some weeding and then used some contraption my mum lent me to prune the apple tree. It was actually quite fun and I got a bit carried away and did a few other trees at the same time. Shame is my green bin isn't big enough to fit it all in. Read at breakfast in the Sunday mag that our gardens should be prepared for winter and that it's a good idea to cut the grass in two different directions. Well - what else did I have to do? So now we have some lovely horizontal stripes on the grass. Apparently I'm meant to be raking the garden to get rid of all the dead grass and moss - impossibly hard work and gave that one a miss. But whilst thinking to myself as I mowed, I did come to the realisation that I am mad - as I decided I would actually like a scarifier and would be happier to buy this than clothing!! (having just read my blog - Michael didn't know what a scarifier is so.... 'A tool with spikes or prongs used for breaking up matted vegetation in the surface of a lawn'.)
Asda was the next port of call (too much excitment I hear you say). Using a small trolley didn't make any difference as I still seemed to spend an awful lot on nothing much. It's all very well trying to cut back but life is so expensive. I've always been quite good at not throwing away food, etc but now I'm even more conscious of not wasting things. I had some leftover sweetcorn which was not going to be eaten so this week's soup was sweetcorn, onion and parsnip. Bit of a strange consistency but I have to say, it tasted very nice and there were no complaints (well apart from Lauren as always). Guess she'll be happier with the frozen yoghurt icecream I just made. Thing is, as I seem to have so much time, and I love to cook (well prefer to bake), I feel I should just make rather than waste.
With all the 'waiting' we've both been thinking alot about the future, particularly what Michael will do work wise. I know he's finding this very difficult. As experienced as he is in licensing, it's all changed so much since he's been out of it and it's a very difficult time for licensing (well everything!!!) I now regret not having some sort of career to fall back on. It's was great, and so easy, working with Michael. I did hours to suit and obviously could always be there for the children. Problem was, no work for Michael, no work for me. I'm quite envious of those friends who knew their path and followed it and now have jobs that fit in with their lives. Not quite sure what job would be waiting for me when the time comes to start working again. I know I've got talents - mended my blackberry this week; pruning trees, making odd soups - not quite sure what job that would get me. The reality is, it's going to be a while before I can even think of working. Trouble is, I've got that long while to think about it and get more down in the dumps. As scary as this op and it's recovery is, it's just as scary thinking about the afterwards, and starting from scratch again.
A dark cloud has just arrived over Radlett, to join my mood :( It's time to take the washing in and put a smiling face on for the return of my lovely kids.
xx
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