Day now over and just relaxing in front of the tv - if you can call it relaxing; bit too much blood and guts but I guess it takes my mind off 'will it be tonight??'. Feeling a little stressed - amazing how we react to stress and pick on the most ridiculous things to be angry about. Tonight, when I thought all was done, I found myself having to go through Lauren's maths homework with her (with my able assistant Aaron), which she thought she understood and most clearly di'dn't. I was impressively calm and she now knows what she's doing - whether that will be the case tomorrow, who knows! But then I lost it as the kids all seemed to have the wrong size sweatshirts - you'd think they'd notice but no doubt it's my fault as I just labelled them all with our surname (cheaper than buying labels for all three of them). I blamed Michael though as he's the one that insists on the doing the ironing and then giving the kids their relevant piles of clothing. Definitely a case of me not feeling in control with him being around all the time. I know the kids keep noticing that I do blame Daddy for an awful lot (none of the important stuff though - stupid things like making a mess in the kitchen, mixing the ironing up, pranging my car!), and I think that's just the stress and anxiety of everything, together with us being under each other's feet the whole time. I dread to think what my poor children really think :(
As grumpy as I can be, I always make sure that there's cuddles before bedtime (with the kids!!!). We try to play it down but it may be that we won't see them in the morning - hard enough for us but particularly difficult for the children. They really are amazing to have to put up with so much.
And so, all cuddles have now been given and it's time for me to go to bed. Night xx
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